For parents of challenging kids:
How to Make Any Challenging Behavior Disappear Using The You-CUE
Get the roadmap, proven plans, and support to go from:
- Fighting with your kids 24/7 to no arguments or yelling for months
- Epic meltdowns 5X/day to no meltdowns for weeks at a time
- Barely surviving to THRIVING with a family that works (with kids who have the skills to self-regulate, solve problems, get along with others)
Proven over 9 years with tens of thousands of parents. This works for kids ages 2-17, including those with ODD, SPD, ADHD, anxiety, ASD, nonverbal, aggressive outbursts and more.
You get it all inside of NextStep. Read on to learn more…
For parents of challenging kids:
How to Make Any Challenging Behavior Disappear Using The You-CUE
Get the roadmap, proven plans, and support to go from:
- Fighting with your kids 24/7 to no arguments or yelling for months
- Epic meltdowns 5X/day to no meltdowns for weeks at a time
- Barely surviving to THRIVING with a family that works (with kids who have the skills to self-regulate, solve problems, get along with others)
Proven over 9 years with tens of thousands of parents. This works for kids ages 2-17, including those with ODD, SPD, ADHD, anxiety, ASD, nonverbal, aggressive outbursts and more.
You get it all inside of NextStep. Read on to learn more…
Does every day feel like a constant battle?
You struggle to get your kid to take a bath, get ready for school, do homework, turn off the TV… and on and on it goes.
On top of all that, your child could have an epic meltdown any moment -- sometimes for seemingly no reason.
You can get through the day, but you’re exhausted.
You’re constantly running around putting out fires.
If there’s a problem, it’s on you to fix it. Everything falls on your shoulders.
But what if all those fights, battles, and meltdowns simply… disappeared?
What if you could go from 5 meltdowns a day to none for weeks at a time.
Or your child suddenly began to put away electronics the first time you ask.
And they got ready for school, did their schoolwork, went to bed, and more without you repeating directions.
Why The 10 Billion Parenting Tips, Tricks, And Strategies You’ve Tried Haven’t Worked
Hi, I’m Dayna Abraham, bestselling author of 2 parenting books and founder of Calm the Chaos.
When my son was little, he was kicked out of multiple schools due to epic meltdowns.
I tried everything -- parenting books, therapy, I even spent $10,000+ on advocates.
Nothing worked.
I blamed myself. I felt like a complete failure as a mom. And I spent multiple nights crying alone in the shower feeling unfit to be his mom.
Until I discovered something that changed everything….
After YEARS of struggle (and quitting my job to look after my son,) I found that ending challenging behaviors comes down to four things.
When all four of these are in place, the fights, meltdowns, aggression, defiance, and other challenging behaviors basically vanish.
And, as a side-effect, your child develops the skills to self-regulate, solve problems, and get along with others.
Without these four things though, the challenging behaviors are likely to continue..
It’s like a car, you need all four tires to drive. If you only have 1- 3, you’re not going anywhere.
The four critical pieces for eliminating challenging behaviors are:
YOU -- If you can’t remain calm when doo doo hits the fan, nothing will change.
Fortunately, there are simple, proven ways to stay calm even in the midst of utter chaos.
Connect -- If your child doesn’t feel a strong connection with you, nothing will change
The good news is there are ways to strengthen your connection. You can get to the point where the vast majority of interactions with your kids are positive.
Once you do that, you’ll stop butting heads (most of the time, anyway) and you and your child will enjoy being together again.
Understand -- If you don’t know WHY your kid does what they do, the challenging behaviors will likely continue.
Every challenging behavior is caused by an unmet need. And there’s a simple way to discover what that need is.
Once you know the need driving the behavior, making the meltdowns, fights, and other challenging behaviors vanish becomes laughably easy.
Empower -- This is about creating a collaborative plan that takes your child’s needs, preferences, and superpowers into account.
It’s not about giving them a false choice like, “Do you want the red or green toothbrush?” It’s about getting their input and working with them as a team.
With this, you go beyond controlling behavior and you help your child to naturally develop skills that include problem solving, self-regulation, and getting along with others.
It’s not about giving them a false choice like, “Do you want the red or green toothbrush?” It’s about getting their input and working with them as a team.
With this, you go beyond controlling behavior and you help your child to naturally develop skills that include problem solving, self-regulation, and getting along with others.
Over the years, I found a simple framework that makes it easy to apply all four of these pieces to any situation. I call it the YOU-CUE (You, Connect, Understand, Empower.)
With this framework, you can make any challenging behavior disappear.
This includes fights, meltdowns, tantrums, picky eating, defiance, aggression, refusal to listen, sibling fighting, and more.
(It may not disappear forever, but it goes from happening multiple times a day to once every few months.)
And you are left with a family that empowers each other, advocates for each other, and enjoys being together.
Just look at the transformation moms have seen with this:
From 25 aggressive incidents a week to almost none!
Jess’ four-year-old went from having 50 incidents of aggressive behavior in 2 weeks at school to just 2 incidents over three months!
Her son even went from constantly starting fights to RESOLVING them.
“My kids were disagreeing over a video game and I could hear tensions rising.
Before I could get over there they not only solved it, they complimented
each other for how they handled the disagreement!”
-Jess, Calm the Chaos graduate
"The school called, and for the first time, it was good news..."
Theresa struggled with her four-year-old son who hit and screamed when she tried to get him to put away electronics or go to bed.
Now, the battles over electronics and bedtime have disappeared.
This framework helped my son go from epic meltdowns 5x/day to none for months at a time.
It’s helped THOUSANDS of moms calm the chaos in their home. (You can see their stories at the bottom of this page)
If you want to use this framework to create a calm, happy home, you need two things:
- The step-by-step roadmap to go from surviving to thriving using the You-CUE
- Guidance, support, coaching, and accountability to transform your family as fast as possible.
You can get the roadmap through the Calm the Chaos Transformation Program.
And you can get the guidance, coaching, support and accountability through our NextStep membership.
And you can get instant access to both on this page.
Before we get to that, let me show you everything you get in these programs:
Go From Barely Surviving to Thriving With the Calm the Chaos Transformation Program
The Calm the Chaos Transformation Program is a step-by-step roadmap to go from barely surviving to thriving with your family.
You’ll get an in-depth look at how to use the YOU-CUE to make any challenging behavior disappear. You’ll discover:
- How to recharge your battery in under 5-minutes with the SPARC Plan
- The Magic Resent Button to connect deeply with your kids (this will fill your home with positivity and compliments)
- How to uncover the root cause of any challenging behavior using the Behavior Spiral
- Your In-The-Moment Plan to stay calm and quickly diffuse any challenging behaviors (anything from aggression to meltdowns to defiance to refusal to do schoolwork and more)
- Your Ahead-of-The-Moment Plans to stop challenging behavior before they start (no more battles over electronics, repeating directions 1,000 times, or walking on eggshells afraid of the next meltdown)
- Routine Magic -- 3-simple steps to create morning, bedtime, mealtime, and homework routines that actually work
- Your Family Success Plan to create a family that gets along, empowers each other, and works together to solve problems (even if they can’t stand each other now)
- Your Out-of-the-Box Discipline Plan to discipline your child without shaming them, using fear, or letting them walk all over you
- Your Advocacy Plan to advocate for your children and help them advocate for themselves
- Conquer and Thrive -- How to reconnect with who you are and the dreams you had before challenging behaviors took over your life
This program consists of bite-sized videos you can go through at your own pace.
You can also listen to the audio or read the downloadable transcripts.
And you can access the entire program on your phone.
So if you want to tear through a lesson while cleaning a few dishes, you can.
Each module comes with simple guides, scripts, and worksheets that make it easy to apply what you learned and get results that day.
Stories From Moms Who Went Through The 90-Day Transformation Program...
Below are stories from three moms who went through our 90-day transformation program.
Warning: these videos may make you cry…
“ALMOST EXPELLED FOR AGGRESSIVE OUTBURSTS”
Jennifer’s son had been suspended from kindergarten so many times he was on the verge of being EXPELLED... and it’s not like it stopped at home. The defiant screaming fits and violent aggressive outbursts felt like they stretched across days.
Now, the defiance, aggression and meltdowns have almost gone away completely. Jennifer is no longer afraid of getting calls from school. And she and her son can play games, have dance parties in the living room, and snuggle together.
“EVERYTHING WAS A ONE BIG ARGUMENT...”
Tamara and her daughter Hannah fought over everything. Their biggest struggle was any kind of routine, whether it be routines for schoolwork, morning routines, or bedtime routines. Tamara felt like she spent all day yelling.
Tamara discovered what was behind the arguments and Hanna’s resistance. Now, they have routines for mornings, homework, and nighttime. They’ve gone from arguing all day to almost never. Their relationship is stronger and Tamara has more time for herself.
"DOCTORS SAID HER SON WOULD NEVER COMMUNICATE…"
Meet Kaylene, an autistic mom of 8. Doctors told her that her autistic son would never communicate, manage his emotions, or live on his own.
On top of that, he had extremely aggressive meltdowns. He even tried to head-butt his baby sister. Kaylene realized she couldn’t keep her family safe...
But now he’s able to communicate. The meltdowns and aggressive behaviors went from daily to almost never.
Plus, Get Unlimited Private Coaching, Support, And Accountability Through NextStep!
Having the roadmap is a huge step in the right direction.
And if you want fast progress, you’ll want a guide to help you.
Someone to point out the little tweaks that will help you make a massive difference fast.
And you’ll want people who you can lean on when things get tough. People who know what it’s like to raise challenging kids and will cheer you on every step of the way.
That’s what you get with NextStep members. This includes:
Unlimited Private Coaching
When you join NextStep, you get access to a dashboard where you can have a private, one-on-one conversation with a coach at anytime.
Simply submit your struggle or question through writing, video, or audio. Our coach will review it and get back to you within a day or two.
You can even ask follow-up questions if you need further clarification or still feel stuck.
This is completely private and available 24/7. Help is always there, all you need to do is ask 🙂
Post from Calm the Chaos graduate
Weekly Coaching calls
You get a call each week with our coaches and other community members.
They’ll help you get crystal clear on what you need to do to eliminate the meltdowns while bringing your family closer together and helping your kid be themselves fully.
Our coaches will get to know you and your family well. They’ll give you little tweaks to your plans so you get fast results in your home.
So you can calm meltdowns, end electronic battles, help your kid’s nail morning and bedtime routines, and more.
And you can use these plans for YEARS to maintain a calm, happy home where everyone enjoys being together.
Post from Calm the Chaos graduate
Your private Peer-led “Accountability Pod”
We’ll connect you with 8 other moms who will be your private accountability group.
They’ll meet with you regularly to help you stay on track in implementing the framework. So you create a calm, happy home with kids that listen, express their feelings, and self-regulate without hitting, yelling, or breaking things.
Post from Calm the Chaos graduate
Monthly Implementation Challenges with Dayna
Each month we’ll have a new challenge to help you create plans for your biggest chaos causer in as little as 5 minutes!
So you can go through the year armed with an Emergency Plan, Ride the Storm Plan, Family Success Plan, Advocacy Plan -- as well as plans for specific behaviors (like getting your child to put away electronics.)
These implementation calls include Clarity Coaching calls to help you get clear on what you should focus on. You also get Plan Review calls to tweak your plans so they work like a charm.
These also come with an “Implementation Day” to help you take action. (There’s nothing like being surrounded by supportive, inspiring moms all day to help you get things done.)
With this, you can make a month's worth of progress in a single week! And you can create a more calm, loving home quickly.
Monthly Keep Moving Forward Mini-Trainings
Sometimes our own doubts, fears, and insecurities keep us stuck.
To help, you’ll get a 10-15 minute “mindset training” each month to help you build confidence and keep moving forward.
Jason and I host these trainings live over Facebook. We cover a new theme each month, like how to “reboot” your life, how to take control of your day, how to feel grateful (even when your world is crumbling) and more.
These are the mindset shifts that made a huge difference in our lives. And they’ll make your parenting journey a lot easier and much more fun.
You even have access to the Keep Moving Forward vault, which has every mini-training we’ve done so far.
The Next Step Community
These are 400+ moms who have been using our framework for years.
They eat, sleep and breathe the YOU-CUE. And they’ll support you in using the framework to create the life you want.
You’ll also get more access to our coaches. They’ll give you more help inside the group. And they’ll get to know you, your family, and your story so they can give you targeted advice
You also get help 24/7. Because posts in this community don’t need to be approved by the moderator. So they go up instantly. Which means even if you are freaking out at 2AM someone will be there in the group to hold space and support you until you start feeling good again.
What Experts Say...
Plus 3 Bonuses FREE
Join Calm the Chaos Next Step Membership today, and you’ll get these five bonuses (valued at $1,320) for free!
They include
Bonus #1: Free Access to The Huddle
When you join Calm the Chaos Next Step, you get access to the Huddle for FREE!
This includes:
- 10 Ready-to-Use In-The-Moment Plans to handle different types of meltdowns (know what to do and say when your child gets violent, runs away, hits their sibling and more)
- The Handle Challenging Behaviors Playbook -- video training, scripts, and step-by-step guides to handle everything from meltdowns to school refusal to picky eating and more
- Your Emergency Plan to keep you and your family safe when meltdowns get dangerous
- Behavior Response Vault -- 65+ videos on how to handle everything from electronic battles to transitions to bedtime struggles and more
- Plus a ton more
You get access to all this for as long as you continue to be a member of NextStep.
Bonus #2: No Time… No Problem Bundle ($497 value)
These are the same time-saving strategies I used to build a 7-figure business while homeschooling three kids and rushing off to therapy appointments, ballet classes, and a million other things.
They can save you an hour a day or more at least. So you can escape overwhelm and get your mojo back.
Bonus #3: Survive the Storm Masterclass ($499 value)
If you’re drowning trying to do ALL THE THINGS, this is for you.
This 5-part Masterclass will help you go from overwhelmed and lost to calm and in-control.
You’ll learn how to stop yourself from spiraling into negativity using the Freakout Timer (our students LOVE this.)
Plus, how to get you and your family to thrive even when you’re surrounded by chaos. You’ll even get the Emergency Survival Plan to keep your family safe in an emergency.
Recap of Everything You Get
✅ Calm the Chaos Transformation Program ($999 value)
✅ NextStep Membership ($970 value)
✅ Bonus #1: Access to The Huddle ($324 value)
✅ Bonus #2: No time, No problem ($497 value)
✅ Bonus #3: Survive the Storm Masterclass ($499 value)
Total value: $3,289
You save 97% today!
Join for less than $3/day
(Limited-Time Offer)
The total value of everything you get is $3,289
But you won’t have to invest anything near that.
You won’t even have to invest $1,644 -- which is half that.
You can get started with NextStep, the Calm the Chaos Transformation Program, and all the bonuses, for just $97/month.
That’s less than $3/day.
And if you sign up for a full year, you’ll get 2 months FREE!
Back when my son had epic meltdowns 5X/day, I spent $10,000+ on therapy and advocates…
… and thousands more replacing windows, doors, tables, and other things he would smash when he got angry…
… Had this membership existed, I would have saved thousands over the years.
Not to mention, avoid years of stress, heartache, exhaustion and hopelessness.
You can avoid all that by joining Next Step today.
Join Monthly
$70 first month
$97/month after
This includes access to the Calm the Chaos Transformation Program and all bonuses
Join Yearly (Get two months free!)
$700/year
This includes access to the Calm the Chaos Transformation Program and all bonuses
If you have any questions or concerns about the course, call or email us. We're happy to help!
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes! The Calm the Chaos Transformation Program is combined with your NextStep membership. You will continue to have access to this program for as long as you are a member inside NextStep.
The coaching calls for Next Step and the 90-Day Transformation Program will be Thursdays at 3PM CT (4ET, 1PT.)
They will all be recorded in case you miss any.
If you choose the monthly option you can cancel anytime and you won’t be billed again (but if you cancel and want to rejoin, you’ll have to pay the new price...which will definitely be higher!)
It’s like Netflix. You invest $97 each month for as long as you want access to our coaches, accountability pods, community and more.
If you decide it’s not for you, no problem. You can email us at help@calmthechaosframework.com and we’ll cancel your membership.
Nope! Not for as long as you're a member.
We will likely double the cost of membership soon. But if you join today, you’ll be locked in at the current rate for as long as you’re a member. So you’ll pay much less than those who join after you.
We are closing the doors to the Next Step Membership soon. And we don’t know when we’ll open them again.
If you’re on the fence, join for a month and see if it’s for you. That way you can claim all the bonuses as they may not be available next time.
The Huddle is our do-it-yourself program that shows you how to handle challenging behavior in the moment.
You learn what to do and say so you can stay calm and get the meltdowns, fights, tantrums, outbursts and other issues to pass quickly.
NextStep is more done-with-you. Our coaches are there to give you the subtle tweaks that can make a massive difference when you use our framework and plans with your kids.
NextStep also focuses on ahead-of-the-moment plans. These are all about stopping the meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, fights, etc. BEFORE they even start. So you don’t have to run around putting out fires constantly.
It’s like this: Imagine you’re cooking dinner. The Huddle is like cooking while following along with a recipe. NextStep is like having a professional chef in the kitchen with you. They help you cook and show what tweaks you can make to ensure your family loves it.
What students are saying
“I’m more confident in myself as a darn good mom and can advocate for my son.”
Amanda, Calm the Chaos graduate
“Life is much calmer and happier…my son has started to self-regulate …”
Shanda, Calm the Chaos graduate
“The therapist said the Calm the Chaos framework worked so well my daughter didn’t need therapy anymore!”
Cassie, Calm the Chaos graduate
“I’m able to have date nights with my husband again. A year ago that would have caused a complete anxiety attack for my daughter.”
Amy, Calm the Chaos graduate
“We’re able to laugh at tough situations now. Because we know how to get through it faster with less pain.”
Gayle, Calm the Chaos graduate
“Sets me up for greater success in all areas… not just kids but with my partner, at work, everywhere!”
“First perfect day at school all year...”
“Smooth and successful morning routine…”
“Calm the Chaos not only helped me be a better parent, it helped me discover myself, my dreams, my strengths so I can tackle anything that comes our way, including a global pandemic.”
Kylie, Calm the Chaos graduate
“We made more progress in 12 weeks than if we had spent months in Applied Behavior Analysis therapy.”
Shanda, Calm the Chaos graduate
The school called, and for the first time, it was good news...
“The BEST community and the BEST people…”
“I’m able to work through meltdowns without losing it…”
Works for 22-month-old son
“My kids are getting along so well!
Therapist says she’s a more skillful parent
“Given me more than the therapist my son has been seeing”
“I’m calmer and less triggered…”
“Finished our first full week of school and I’m really happy…”
“Went to the children’s museum… no meltdowns like in the past”
“Made it through distance learning without a fight”
“Normally there would be epic battles… but things were calm and in-control”
“I have a framework that works for all my kids”
“My son’s meltdowns have decreased dramatically”
Jennifer, Calm the Chaos graduate
Her boy used to get frustrated so fast… now he comes and talks to her instead
“He stopped screaming and used his words”
