"Mommy, I just took a deep breath so that I can be kind, maybe you could too so that you can calm down too."
Maggie is four. And one of her favorite things is going over speed bumps in our car. And we get to do that a lot because there are several speed bumps right near our home. But our car does not like the speed bumps as much as Maggie does. And so sometimes we tell her no, because she wants to go over them every time.
So this was a problem a few days ago, coming home from preschool because she wanted me to go over the bumps. And I told her, no, I had already done it a few times that day. And she started screaming and yelling at me and she started kicking the back of my seat and kicking the center console. And I lost it. I started yelling at her and lecturing her, and I could see that it was not helping and that it was not productive. And I didn't feel good, but I couldn't stop myself. And she was quiet the whole time. And then when I was done, I heard her take a deep breath. And she said, mommy, I just took a deep breath so that I can be kind. Maybe you could take a deep breath so that you can calm down too.
And it just amazes me that I hear those kinds of things coming out of her mouth. Now I joined Calm the Chaos because every day there was so much anger in our home. This four year old was always so angry at me and I didn't understand why, and I didn't know what to do about it. I hurt. And I knew that she was hurting too.
And Calm the Chaos has helped so much by giving me the tools and giving me tools to give her as well to Calm that Chaos that's inside of us. It still happens. There's still anger. It really isn't there as much as it used to be, but they're still screaming and yelling and hitting and kicking. But then there's deep breaths and there's talking,
there's listening. There's understanding there's a little voice that reminds me to take a deep breath and calm down. And I'm so grateful for Calm the Chaos I'm the community and all of the tools that I've learned that have helped our family and created a more peaceful environment in our home.