"It’s simple, but not easy. I think if it was easy, you would just do it on your own."
tried everything, aggressive meltdowns, I am a professional myself
Hi, I’m Marta and I’m a wife and a doctor. I read all the books and online resources on raising children trying to find answers. You know the asterix at the end of a sentence meaning that there are exceptions to this rule? I felt like my kids and my family were this exception. I worked hard trying to apply new things only to see minimal results.
Our biggest struggle was aggressive behaviors and defiance. My three year old son could name animals but not his emotions or what he wanted. He would hit, throw things at adults, but also at his little sister. It was so bad that I couldn't go to the bathroom because I was afraid that she would get seriously hurt. We fought with him about everything from dawn to dusk; eating, dressing, getting out of the house, getting back, falling asleep. I hated being alone with them, my counted down hours til my husband got home. It's wreaked havoc on our whole family and then came pandemic. My husband's a frontline Covid worker. We had to let go of the babysitter. When my one year old started hitting me too, I knew I had to find something that would work.
The CTC workshop in March was a lifeline I needed. What convinced me to join was Dayna’s honesty about her story, that she didn't promise a fairytale ending and also the money back guarantee. It was my last resort. If this didn’t work, we would have become a strict military style family. So I took the leap of faith. It was scary. It cost around a monthly salary here and it's in different time times zones and language. I discovered all the asterix’s were hiding, they were getting help here at Calm the Chaos. The tools that CTC provide are simple, but not easy. I think if it was easy, you would just do it on your own.
We were having seven to eight and sometimes 14 aggressive incidents a day. Fast forward to six months later, we are down to two but there are days when there are none. My son and daughter are a great team full of mischief and laughter. They care about each other and they say sorry without reminding and play together. My son reads books to his sister and spots dogs for her during walks because she likes them. She shares her toys with him and comforts him when he cries.
But that's not all that changed. I take time for myself. I found my voice. We like being around our kids. There’s laughter around us. I started driving a car which scared me a lot and still does, but I do it. We started preschool and I can advocate for my kid and he can do it for himself too. It's not picture perfect. And it never will be. I stopped feeling hopeless. I stopped searching for another resource. I have tools and a tribe of friends and the peace of mind that whatever would happen I would always be able to find my next step.