"I have felt inept to be his mother, completely incapable of how to parent him."
Aggressive Meltdowns, Overwhelm, Mom Guilt
I’m Teresa and I live with my husband, our two super kids AND my parents. Needless to say there is a lot of Chaos in our home but the number cause of chaos and stress has been our 4yo’s behavior. He gets angry and frustrated very easily. As a result, he hits kicks, screams, and tells you he doesn't love you anymore. I have felt inept to be his mother, completely incapable of how to parent him. I had tried other programs, parenting books, timeout strategies, punishments. I did my share of yelling and I'll even admit that I spanked a little bit but I could see what that was doing to my kids and it left me feeling horrible. Every night I would cry myself to sleep or I would fall to my knees in prayer, begging God for forgiveness because of the way I was treating my children. I knew I just couldn't do it anymore.
So another expert I was following had recommended Dayna and her program. I am now starting to see him use the tools and strategies. He takes deep breaths. He uses his words to express how he feels or what he needs. He asks to go to a separate place so that he can calm down.
I've been tracking his hitting for 19 weeks. At the beginning most of the numbers are really high up but by the second half most of them are really low except for one really high one. That was due to some jealousy around his brother's birthday. But there is a decline there. This is what we call progress not perfection. But now we know how to get through it. There is hope. And most importantly, my view about him has changed. I'm not trying to fix him anymore. I love him for who he is now. And I know that I am the mother that he deserves. I owe it all to CTC. It is transforming my relationship with my little guy. It's also transforming my relationship with myself and my husband and my whole family. I can't say enough about this framework. It has brought my family to places I never imagined possible. There is hope. Now there truly is. I owe it all to this wonderful community.