"I had to change and learn how to react calmly and not attack."
Mom guilt, I tried everything, Mindset Shift
Hi I am Dolana and I’ve got a teenager, He’s 14. As he was growing up, I was committed to connected positive parenting but as my son's behaviors got challenging as he got older, my responses to him were not aligned with positive parenting. They were very negative. I yelled and screamed and I probably made him feel awful about being who he is.
So I joined CTC and I really believe me it's the best decision I've ever made. I had read so many parenting books and programs and tried so many different solutions but it wasn't until CTC, that breaks everything down into little steps, investigates all of the behaviors and what your child is communicating, that I learnt how to best help my child.
Although I joined CTC to change my child's behavior, because I figured that was the thing that was going to bring calm to our home, I found that the solution was with me. I had to change and learn how to react calmly and not attack my son for having challenges and needing support. We went from having outbursts and screaming matches where doors were broken, walls were punched and we were saying really awful things to one another on a daily basis. Now, we can go weeks without any kind of major outbursts. I still yell sometimes, but I know to say sorry and I know how to forgive myself.
I found a tribe of parents who are like-minded, going through the same things and I don't feel judged. I feel understood and supported. I'm just so grateful for this community of people and this program that I am going to continue to use throughout my life. I'll hopefully use it with my own grandchildren. It takes work and you get out of it what you're willing to put in but it is so worth it. I think ultimately what I've learned is I am a good parent. No. I'm a great parent.